China Tells Tourists 'Stop Spitting'
The Chinese government Monday released guidelines as to how Chinese tourists should conduct themselves in foreign countries.  The Chinese tourist authorities placed spitting and littering on top of the list of undesirable behaviors.  For those of you who have never been to mainland China, spit sounds are about as common here as the sound of idiots yelling "Bruuuuuce" at a Springsteen concert.  And if by spit sound, you imagine the sound of a girl with a hair in her mouth, think again.  The sound of spit here, and I guess anywhere Chinese people are, is a guttural noise so resounding and so foul, that it sounds like a T.V. that gets no reception on full volume being sprayed with a fire hose.  According to a Shanghai Daily article Tuesday, the spitting and other faux pas have gotten so bad that foreign hotels and tourist attractions have had to put up "no spitting", "no littering" and "flush after you use the toilet" signs.  Other lapses in etiquette reported to Chinese authorities were cutting lines, smoking in non-smoking areas, yelling indoors, wearing pajamas in public, taking their shoes off at airports and, get this, polishing their shoes using hotel bed sheets.  Right this moment, I have realized what I want to be when I grow up.  A Chinese tourist.  This sounds amazing.  Pajamas in public.  Not flushing?  And the whole time, representing your country to the fullest.

•Shanghai Daily: Polish Act, Not Shoes